Friday, November 16, 2007

depressing epiphany...

i have a friend who has no arms and no legs. just arm-stumps and leg-stumps. he likes to be called torso-boy. i had a depressing realization about dear torso-boy last night...he can't really jerk off.

:(

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Knotty Knitters Logo....

i kinda want it on a shirt....

i mean...i drew it on one with a fabric marker but thats not the same...
also:

how much ass do we kick?

AN ODE TO CONSUELA

oh, my irridescent pink friend
your battery opperated functions make me hot!
why can't you make me happy
in other ways?
you fill the

hole

in my vajayjay...
but not the one in my heart!

THE
END

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Sexuality


I bought a bunch of movies at hastings the other day. dug them out of the value bins. among those purchased were "Gia," and "Boys don't cry." i have to say, i'm a bit disappointed. why is it that there are no lesbian love story films in mainstream pop culture that have happy endings? if anyone knows of some that end well, please let me know because i am very distraught by all this. also, the fact that they are both based on true stories makes it even worse.

it seems much of my life lately involves me getting my hopes up only to have them dashed upon the pointy rocks of sorrow. For Example, i got a call from a friend of mine the other day. she is a seamstress. she was contacted by a pre-op transgender named hermione granger about making her some new, 40's style clothing. hermione is looking for a roommate, and liby, knowing i hate my current living situation, told her about me. it turns out we share a common love of comics and anime. finally, after weeks of buildup, i got to meet hermione today. and was mildly disapointed. i had this vision of a glamorous shemale resembling the fabulous transvestites we so often see at the Emerald Club down town. instead, i found myself face to face with a 36 year old...well...if he-she weren't decked out in pink glittery jewelry, an animal print headband, and toting one of those armpit purses, i would probably have taken him-her as one of those creepy fellows who are meant to be avoided in dark alleys. complete with hard core five o'clock shadow and everything. i was a little put off at first...perhaps it was being hugged by someone i just met....i do have personal space issues...so, being myself (and hating judging people based on their appearance...god knows a recently-discovered-raging-lesbian such as myself has no place to judge...especially considering how much i spend on comics!), i decided to give hermione a second chance.

and now i know why liby gets so annoyed by her. poor thing has a rough life ahead. i wish i could be more willing to hang out with her...but she is the kind of nerd that nerds like me make fun of. and that's saying a LOT.

now, i hope no one reads this and thinks "well...this girl is just biased against poor hermione because of hermione's...situation"....it is untrue! i think that everyone needs to find the person inside themselves and make that person happy...but if that person is annoying, it doesn't matter if it came in the wrong package or not...you're still annoying. and apparently if you came in the right package, and just like that package so much you want to be with others with the same packaging...you are doomed to either be shot in the head or die of aids. thank you, hollywood for officially destroying my hopes for happiness...but not for realsies...

...its hard being an optimist in a world like this, but i'll keep plugging away! wow...i've tried to end this blog like, 9 times with no success...i haven't typed this much at a time in ages! hmmm...there's only one sure fire way to end a tale this long...


THE
END!

Friday, November 2, 2007

just...wow.


i have to share this with the world!

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Vladventures


Greetings, Comrades!
i bring you news from the front lines of our dear friend, Comrade Vlad.
on a recent trip to the local coffeehouse, Emily and i discovered that russians are quite adept at knitting. who knew?

it also turns out he loves him some coffee...illustrated here:

and here:


also, vlad is a total pimp.

after spending FAR too much time giggling at the movie titles in the "adult" section of hastings, we have decided to use his sexyness to make a profit via the porn industry.

any thoughts or suggestions on content and/or title would be greatly appreciated as our big brainstorming session consists of "he should be humping lots of things."

thank you.