i do believe my head might explode

it would seem that being the genius chain smoker i am...i have mnaged to give myself chronic bronchitis. boo! the doctor gave me this stupid inhaler thing to help with the tightness in my chest...but i can only use it every 4 hours. suck! i feel like absolute refried shit...

...but all of this is irrelavent because

i am in luuuuurve. *insert birdchirping heavenly choir noises here*


i'm ok saying this here because of two things. one: i am 90% sure she will never read this...i think i would die of embarassment if she did ^_^

and two: i am 95% sure she feels the same way. ^_^


i have managed to find the sweetest most caring and cuddly girl ever!


i'm talking door opening, coat offerin, drink fetchin, cuddling, "oh-you-have-goosebumps-on-your-arm-lets-move-into-the-sun" sweetness! i mean, i tell her stupid little things and she actually REMEMBERS THEM! always complimenting me and making me feel absofuckinglutely wonderful! i'm sure we will drive everyone else nuts with the whole gazing longingly into eachother's eyes thing, but DAMN i love it! no one has ever made me feel the way that she does. yesterday, i had a doctor's appointment, and after the bad news, we went out for coffee then went to the park and played on the swings for a few hours just talking. she likes doing all that stupid kid stuff too! uuuuuuungh! then we went and got my prescription and went back to her house to watch juno. her little 5 year old niece was there (and absolutely WORSHIPS her aunti hehe), so we let her come watch with us...so we had to behave ourselves. but that was kinda fun too...finding stupid little reasons for her to go up stairs so we could hold hands and sneak a kiss for 30 glorious seconds. then, miraculously, bathtime for little Pheonix! (i love that name by the way) oh. my. god. having the room all to ourselves was...nice. ^_- lets just say tongue rings are fantastic, and leave it at that. then of course neither one of us heard the bath stop...or the door open, and little pheonix caught us making out. *facepalm* i don't think she realized what she saw, but still. eeeeee. oh man.

it is so hard to be NOT around her. like, she dropped me off back at my car, and i just didn't want to go. i have never wished so hard that i had my own place. we were talking yesterday, and it amazes both of us. we have such different interests, but we both want to learn everything about the other's interests. she likes dirt biking and camping and outdoorsy stuff like that. she is going to teach me some time. we have plans to go camping this summer. ^_^

i like art. i love the oregon coast. i am taking her to the art museum next weekend. we are talking about a trip to oregon this summer. but...we both love cats. ^_^

she makes me feel so comfortable. i'm not used to that.

we decided last night that we need to bake shawn a fucking cake for introducing us. i was wondering what kind he would like and she just looks at me. just as i was thinking it, she said it: rainbow cake! hahaha so now we are going to bake a rainbow cake for shawn on saturday. he is going to love it. i should probably go eat now. that way i'll have energy to hang out with liz after work instead of sleeping like i should. ^_^