(apparently) the girl of my dreams.

Have you ever had a dream that came true?
I have...on several occasions, actually. now, i'm not talking of visions of lottery numbers from the future...i'm not clairvoyant...i have just had some dreams in my time of mundane daily situations in settings i'd never seen before that ended up happening later (sometimes years later) in the waking world.

i sense your skepticism. i will elaborate. when i was younger...maybe 13 or 14 years old, i had a dream that i was in a big room made up of stairs, talking with people i had never seen before. i looked up and a girl who was on the lower level of stairs looked up at me and smiled right before turning around and leaving the room. years later, i transferred to a different high school from the one i was supposed to go to...after a few months there, i was in the music room, waiting for orchestra to start and the whole situation replayed itself. the room that the orchestra practiced in consisted mainly of a series of levels for the chairs to rest on (similar to stairs) so that everyone in the back could still see the conductor. before i went there, i had never seen this room. it was bizarre.

that has happened to me a couple times...

last night i had a dream. these dreams i have...the ones that happen later...they all have a certain feel to them...i am seeing things and people that i haven't seen/met yet...and yet i am participating in activities like i am around them all the time...its kinda like i would imagine that fellow from "quantum leap" must have felt...anyway...i won't go into too much detail, as i hate to cheapen one of the happiest dreams i've had with words...but it started out sort of in the middle...like coming into an episode of a tv show halfway through it...you have no idea what is going on...but you figure it out eventually...

i was in a large room...with these benches...really low to the ground and padded (sort of like the ones in hookah bars...) and we were sitting around a table...and i was having a conversation with a bunch of people whose faces i never really saw...but my friend Lauren was there...i remember that...anyway...after a while, i realize that there is a girl using my lap as a pillow...never seen her before in my life, don't know her name, nothing. we start talking and she is very affectionate and...familiar is the only word i can think of...the way couples in love are with eachother, you know? anyway...it was nice. god. i can't explain it. no, it wasn't a "sex dream..." it was just...like i got a glimpse of my future and got to see what everyday life could be like for me if i ever find "someone." i didn't want to wake up...the whole time i just couldn't shake the feeling that this was real. i was aware it was a dream...it was like i was a passenger in my future self...when i woke up, i was so sad.

i want so badly for this to be one of those dreams that happens later on...i want to meet this girl. i can't even remember her face...i just remember how i felt about her and around her...is it possible to will someone into existence? i just can't shake this feeling that she is real. and that she is out there somewhere. i told emily about my dream a bit...she said "wouldn't it be great if you found her, and she was real...and had the same dream...only she remembered your face?"


so this is it. if you are out there...remember me! i exist.

i hope the whole thing wasn't just some freudian view into my inner desire for a relationship or some shit like that...

indecision

blog? why yes i think i shall.

but whatever will i write?
pumpernickel is a good word...i believe i will write pumpernickel.


pumpernickel.

ah. that was lovely. such a fun word.


too bad the bread tastes like shite.

images inspired by words

a visual artist's attempt to paint with words

unprepared for the journey ahead, i sit.
sipping on my caffeinated bliss
testing one
two
three
words flow through the air painting elaborate concoctions of imagery and vocabulary in my mind.
tamed lightning rushes up a cord
spinal cord? electrical cord
the skeletal stand of the microphone enhancing my perceptions as i hallucinate
interpreting the complexity of the english language through the mind of an art major
creating in me the desire to create something more than mundane
a spark grows
years of animated loops
(the visual equivalent of prop comedy)
washed away by a new vision
the desire to design burns in my soul likening to lust
(am i art-horny?)
like the urge to smoke

or fuck

or sing or dance
rushing home at the limit of speed
hoping that my muse will linger til I reach the clicking familiarity of my keyboard

distractions
all
around

avoiding obstacles like the character in some bizarre electronic interactive story,
i rush
relieving myself in front of my cycloptic familiar
i pause
at a loss for words. now all that remains
in the dark recesses of my lust-crazed brain
is an image
that longs to come to life

a tribute of sorts.

Serious time begins now!

My grandma died on tuesday. She was a really amazing woman.
Passed away at the ripe old age of 98. I honestly thought she would outlive me.
But then she got diagnosed with Pancreatic and Liver cancer about 3 months ago.
Went downhill pretty quickly.
Thankfully, it wasn't the cancer that took her.
she died of heart problems with my dad there holding her hand.
she was just really great...had my dad and my uncle(twins) when she was 47 years old
for chrissake.
If you knew them, you would understand what a saint the woman was, tolerating them at that age.

if it were me, they wouldn't have made it to puberty. ^_^

anywho, thats all. just wanted to share. carry on.

/serious time

fluffy animals in love

Animation Show - Dancing Animals In Love

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depressing epiphany...

i have a friend who has no arms and no legs. just arm-stumps and leg-stumps. he likes to be called torso-boy. i had a depressing realization about dear torso-boy last night...he can't really jerk off.

:(

Knotty Knitters Logo....

i kinda want it on a shirt....

i mean...i drew it on one with a fabric marker but thats not the same...
also:

how much ass do we kick?

AN ODE TO CONSUELA

oh, my irridescent pink friend
your battery opperated functions make me hot!
why can't you make me happy
in other ways?
you fill the

hole

in my vajayjay...
but not the one in my heart!

THE
END

Sexuality

I bought a bunch of movies at hastings the other day. dug them out of the value bins. among those purchased were "Gia," and "Boys don't cry." i have to say, i'm a bit disappointed. why is it that there are no lesbian love story films in mainstream pop culture that have happy endings? if anyone knows of some that end well, please let me know because i am very distraught by all this. also, the fact that they are both based on true stories makes it even worse.

it seems much of my life lately involves me getting my hopes up only to have them dashed upon the pointy rocks of sorrow. For Example, i got a call from a friend of mine the other day. she is a seamstress. she was contacted by a pre-op transgender named hermione granger about making her some new, 40's style clothing. hermione is looking for a roommate, and liby, knowing i hate my current living situation, told her about me. it turns out we share a common love of comics and anime. finally, after weeks of buildup, i got to meet hermione today. and was mildly disapointed. i had this vision of a glamorous shemale resembling the fabulous transvestites we so often see at the Emerald Club down town. instead, i found myself face to face with a 36 year old...well...if he-she weren't decked out in pink glittery jewelry, an animal print headband, and toting one of those armpit purses, i would probably have taken him-her as one of those creepy fellows who are meant to be avoided in dark alleys. complete with hard core five o'clock shadow and everything. i was a little put off at first...perhaps it was being hugged by someone i just met....i do have personal space issues...so, being myself (and hating judging people based on their appearance...god knows a recently-discovered-raging-lesbian such as myself has no place to judge...especially considering how much i spend on comics!), i decided to give hermione a second chance.

and now i know why liby gets so annoyed by her. poor thing has a rough life ahead. i wish i could be more willing to hang out with her...but she is the kind of nerd that nerds like me make fun of. and that's saying a LOT.

now, i hope no one reads this and thinks "well...this girl is just biased against poor hermione because of hermione's...situation"....it is untrue! i think that everyone needs to find the person inside themselves and make that person happy...but if that person is annoying, it doesn't matter if it came in the wrong package or not...you're still annoying. and apparently if you came in the right package, and just like that package so much you want to be with others with the same packaging...you are doomed to either be shot in the head or die of aids. thank you, hollywood for officially destroying my hopes for happiness...but not for realsies...

...its hard being an optimist in a world like this, but i'll keep plugging away! wow...i've tried to end this blog like, 9 times with no success...i haven't typed this much at a time in ages! hmmm...there's only one sure fire way to end a tale this long...


THE
END!

just...wow.

i have to share this with the world!

Vladventures

Greetings, Comrades!
i bring you news from the front lines of our dear friend, Comrade Vlad.
on a recent trip to the local coffeehouse, Emily and i discovered that russians are quite adept at knitting. who knew?

it also turns out he loves him some coffee...illustrated here:

and here:


also, vlad is a total pimp.

after spending FAR too much time giggling at the movie titles in the "adult" section of hastings, we have decided to use his sexyness to make a profit via the porn industry.

any thoughts or suggestions on content and/or title would be greatly appreciated as our big brainstorming session consists of "he should be humping lots of things."

thank you.

"in soviet russia, cartoon draws you!"

"In Soviet Russia, Ketchup Straws Vibrate You!"

Ladies and Gentlejerks...i would like you to meet a very good friend of mine, Vladimir Stalin Sputnik.

purhcased at Saint Vincents Thrift Store for $1, he is the Russianiest Russian i know.
Of course, i don't know any russians...but still! Handmade with High Quality Felt©
and Other Shit©, he has become our proud Mascot. Accompanying us on various Excursions...

(though he is a bit of a lush, so he never gets to be the Designated Driver)
and helping us decide which item on the Perkins Menu is the least toxic...

you, gentle reader, can now look forward to a weekly update on the ADVENTURES OF VLADIMIR STALIN SPUTNIK!!!
you are thrilled, i can tell...

how could you not be? he is such a ladies man! Women want him and men want to be him!
now i leave you, gentle reader, to wait with baited breath for the next action packed installment of the ADVENTURES OF VLADIMIR STALIN SPUTNIK!!!


also, if the title to this post confused you,Educate yourselves.

awesomenessativity

KNOTTY KNITTERS

now accepting applications for new members, bitches.




look how badass we are! ^_^

Baby Lou tattoo

Full thrust on the machine, pins on to my skin
I'm getting my soul reapplied
While my skin is getting dyed

angst angst angst, rant rant blah.
i want to hop on a bus and just go...SOMEWHERE for a week. not tell anyone.
then stealthily come back and act like i never left. that would be good times all around.

i am a fiend.

a vectoring, Knitting FIEND!





also...pigtail pirates would totally beat hair ninjas any day of the week!

Kalimba band

The Geriatric Penii
Yarn Pubes
Scare the Pizza outta you




Constipation killed the dinosaurs...

stockings and such

imagine, (if you will) two friends. BEST friends, in fact. have been for more than 15 years. (they've always joked that they should date eachother some day)

now imagine that one of them, Friend A, confesses to the other, Friend B, that A has had feelings for B for a long time. B never gives A a clear response for or against this possibility, but seems to feel better about themself knowing that A loves B.

now imagine that less than a week later, B sleeps with one of A's friends. is it safe to say that A has A's answer?

i am classy

and emily takes cool photos.

Missing Pieces.

Lately i've been feeling a bit like an Unfinished Puzzle...you know...when you've almost completed it except for this big hole right in the middle? but you aren't too worried, because you still have a bunch of pieces sitting out on the table...but when you try them one by one...None Of The Pieces Fit.

That's me. i'm just a puzzle with a big hole where my heart should be...just waiting for someone to come along and fill it for me...and i have a lot to give! i'm not just any boring old 200 piecer...i'm like one of those 3-D puzzles you can get of "Big Ben," or the Eiffel Tower, or whatever...where did i get this metaphor from? I don't even like puzzles!

Vectoria

i love doing these vectors. there is something soothing to me about them.
when you are zoomed in so closely on a picture that you can see all the little details on the eyes and lips it is just a beautiful thing to me...it helps me learn a lot about form and shading. there is just something satsifying about creating a picture that turns out like this one did. Thanks for modeling for me, Emily!

Burn, baby, burn

one more because Amanda Palmer is hot...


there needs to be a show like CSI miami...only without all the filler...just shots of people staring at the sun and thoughtfully putting their hands on their hips while donning a pair of godawful sunglasses. lots of different people. it wouldn't need a plot...
just lots of "woosh" noise sound effects between shots...and polarized looking effects on every other frame...and bizarre color balance.

it would be amazing.

anyone have a video camera and some glasses i can borrow?

You can tell

from the red in my eyes and the bruises on my thighs and the knots in
my hair and the fact i'm full of lies


i think this is going to end up being an art blog...
my friend, Emily (whose blog is awesome) talked me into starting one of these...
i was actually quite excited til i remembered i am by no means a writer.
usually if i try to write eloquent or meaningful things it ends up reading like a teen girl's secret diary. Shallow and boring. so i will use this to post arts and such and maintain my mysterious thoughtful persona.
*strikes a pose*
also, have a page i scanned and colored from our coloring book adventure that she talked about...i plan on using the lines and my handy-dandy copy of photoshop to create some kind of magnificent online digital coloring book! now i just need to find a host for the PDFs...